I've been Screw Lucy since my 20's (I have a screw loose...). I've been in sales for over 20 years and all my reviews are NOT sponsored--I choose the products, services, etc, independently so everything I say is completely honest--and sometimes funny. I am a progressive Christian, a mother, a wife, and an estate broker. I believe in what Zig Ziglar said: you can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.
September is here! And I'm having clam chowder for dinner while listening to Ween's 1997 album, The Mollusks (it just fits). You have to have a certain kind of taste for Ween because they are no other and you'll also require an appetite for seafood; it's the kind of dish that solicits a strong reaction from consumers. People are either devoted to their aquatic affinities or they make retching noises and run away screaming.
I have a passion for seafood which includes all varieties of the afore mentioned album--especially raw oysters. And I love anchovies on my pizza.
Ingredients
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 slice bacon
1 large onion
kosher salt
Pepper
2 clove garlic
2 tbsp. all-purpose flour
2 can chopped clams in clam juice
1 bottle clam juice
3 c. whole milk
1 lb. medium red bliss potatoes
6 sprig fresh thyme
1 package frozen corn
cooked crumbled bacon
Chopped parsley
Directions
Place
the oil and bacon in a Dutch oven or large pot and cook over medium
heat, stirring occasionally, until the bacon is crisp, about 5 minutes.
Add
the onion, season with 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and
cook, covered, stirring occasionally, until very tender, 8 to 10
minutes. Stir in the garlic and cook for 1 minute.
Sprinkle
the flour over the onion and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Drain the
canned clam juice into the pan (reserve the clams), add the bottled clam
juice and stir to combine.
Stir
in the milk, then add the potatoes and thyme and bring the mixture to a
boil, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat and simmer for 12 minutes. Add
the corn and clams and cook until the potatoes are just tender and the
corn and clams are heated through, about 3 minutes.
Discard the thyme and serve the soup with crumbled bacon and parsley, if desired.
As you know, I'm a fan of initiating variations on the dishes I make, so I have a few suggestions for a creamier base: use cream (shocking revelation). I love oysters--I loathe oyster stew. The first time I had it, I swore the cook made a mistake. Hot milk soup? I'm retching and running away.
Half and half is a solid foundation for a bisque or in this case a chowder. Bacon and parsley become your garnish but really, you could use anything from homemade croutons (which is suggested) to olive oil, chives, or roasted walnuts.
So I was thinking...
If you wanted to get really fancy with this, you could make a Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuit bowl to serve this in.
Or if not so much, maybe a seafood-themed tureen. I'm obsessed with dishes. Especially crustacean-centered pieces, which is weird since I'm not a fan of the beach.
Piccata is a dish in which the meat (typically veal or chicken) that is butterflied, tenderized, battered and incorporated into a pasta dish.
Typically shallots, capers, garlic, and lemon--and of course olive oil and butter--will also be used in the dish.
I used Ronzoni gluten-free spaghetti. Click here to get a coupon for $1 off. My preference for gluten-free pasta is rice based. Corn tends to overpower a dish.
I would recommend adding more ingredients to this dish. More capers, artichoke, and maybe olives. As you can see I also used fresh Parmesan and enjoyed it with Horton Petite Mansing.
Ingredients
8 oz. multigrain spaghetti
1 c. fresh flat-leaf parsley
1 lemon
1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
kosher salt
Pepper
2 tbsp. olive oil
4 clove garlic
1 tbsp. capers
0.50 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
0.50 c. dry white wine
Directions
Cook the pasta according to package
directions. Reserve 1/2 cup of the cooking water, drain the pasta and
return it to the pot; then toss with 1/2 cup parsley and the lemon zest
and juice.
Meanwhile, thinly
slice the chicken crosswise into 1/4-inch-thick pieces and season with
1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large
skillet over medium-high heat. Add half the chicken and cook until
golden brown, 1 to 2 minutes per side; transfer to a bowl.
Reduce
heat to medium, add the remaining oil and chicken and cook for 1
minute. Turn the chicken, scatter the garlic, capers, and red pepper
over the top and cook 1 minute more. Return the first batch of chicken
to the skillet and toss to combine.Add
the wine and simmer for 1 minute. Remove from heat, sprinkle the
remaining parsley over the top, then toss with the pasta (adding some of
the reserved pasta water if needed).
A few years ago I lived next door to neighbors from the Middle East. I can't tell you how many hours I spent trying to devise a plan to incorporate myself into their daily dinner routine--their delicious, curry-spiced food delighted the neighborhood. Well...it delighted everyone except the habitually troublesome neighbors upstairs--they complained about the "suspicious smells" coming from the Middle Easter neighbors. I left a stack of McDonalds cheeseburgers at their door with a fan to remind them of the traditional flavors of 'Merica.
Curry is prepared in a variety of ways either with or without a sauce, vegetarian or including poultry, fish, beef, or any other meet. While curry powder is largely a Western invention, the spices we find in most American Indian restaurants contain a combination of 3 staple spices: coriander, cumin, and turmeric.
There is such a thing as a curry tree and you can include their leaves in any traditional curry. Curry leaves are a mild flavor and should be added at the end of the cooking process so as not to lose their flavor. Turmeric is a sunny yellow flavoring known for aiding rheumatoid arthritis and other inflammatory diseases.
You'll recognize cumin from your chili-prep stash. It is also a spice native to the Middle East and you'll find references to it in the Bible (along with what many people feel is oregano--referred to as "hyssop"). Cumin is a powerful antioxidant. Most spices are--that's why they are encouraged in diets from the Candida Diet to the Daniel Plan.
The third seasoning, coriander. Coriander is cilantro seed. Cilantro is a plant that usually polarizes the population. People either love it or hate it. I personally LOVE cilantro--others feel it tastes like soap!
Total Time:
0:25
Prep:
0:20
Level:
Easy
Yield:
4 servings (cost per serving of $1.76)
Serves:
4
Ingredients
1 c. long-grain white rice
1 tbsp. olive oil
1.50 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 small onion
3 clove garlic
1 tbsp. ground ginger
1 small apple
0.25 c. golden raisins
1 tbsp. curry powder
1 c. light coconut milk
1 c. low-sodium chicken broth
Chopped cilantro
Directions
Cook the rice according to package directions.
Meanwhile,
heat the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add the
chicken and onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until the chicken is
just beginning to brown, 5 to 6 minutes.
Add
the garlic and ginger and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the apple
and raisins, sprinkle with the curry powder and cook, tossing, for 1
minute.
Stir in the coconut milk,
then the broth and simmer, covered, until the chicken is cooked through
and the apples and onions are tender, about 5 minutes. Serve over the
rice and top with cilantro, if desired.
For a great alternative to a Hot Pocket, these broccoli and cheddar roll-ups are easy for travel, filling for lunch, and versatile for health benefits. Although it may be more convenient to pick up a roll of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, the benefits of preparing your own, gluten-free pizza dough.
You can find the original version of this recipe on The Minimalist Baker website:
INGREDIENTS
3 cups gluten free flour blend (1 cup white rice flour + 1 cup brown rice flour + 1 cup tapioca flour + 3/4 tsp xanthan gum)
In a small bowl, combine yeast and 3/4 cup warm water - about 110 degrees. Too hot and it will kill the yeast! Let set for 5 minutes to activate. Sprinkle in 1 Tbsp of the sugar a few minutes in.
In a separate bowl, combine gluten free flour blend, salt, baking powder and remaining 2 Tbsp sugar. Whisk until well combined.
Make a well in the dry mixture and add the yeast mixture. Add the olive oil and additional 1/2 cup warm water before stirring. Then stir it all together until well combined, using a wooden spoon (see photo).
Lightly coat a baking sheet or pizza stone with non-stick spray and plop your dough down. Using your hands and a little brown rice flour if it gets too sticky, work from the middle and push to spread/flatten the dough out to the edge (see pictures). You want it to be pretty thin - less than 1/4 inch.
Put the pizza in the oven to pre-bake for roughly 25-30 minutes, or until it begins to look dry. Cracks may appear, but that's normal and totally OK.
INGREDIENTS
6 oz. broccoli crowns, thinly sliced (about 2 1/4 cups)
Heat oven to 425 degrees F. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a large bowl, combine the broccoli, onion, parsley, 1 tablespoon oil, and 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper. Fold in the cheese.
On a lightly floured work surface, shape the pizza dough into a 14-inch circle, spread with the mustard and cut into 8 triangles. Divide the broccoli mixture among the triangles (about 1/3 cup per triangle). Starting at the wide end, roll dough around the filling.
Transfer rollups to the prepared baking sheet, brush with the remaining tablespoon oil and bake until golden brown, 20 to 22 minutes. Serve with a salad, if desired.
Wheat has 3 parts: the bran, the germ, and the endosperm.
I've invited them all here today to tell you a little bit about their contributions. Introduce yourself guys.
Bran: "I have the most fiber and became a diet fad in the 1980's."
Germ: "I'm full of nutrients like iron and I'm responsible for sprouting the new wheat plant. I'm kind of an important guy."
Endosperm (munching a bag of Cheetos): "I'm the largest part of the kernel and I'm mostly starch. (Clears throat, licks fingers and looks at Germ condiscendingly) I'm responsible for a little thing called white flour. You know--Sunbeam, Wonder, Pillsbury and Sara Lee anything--the best thing since 'white bread?'"
Bran: "I think that's sliced bread..."
Endosperm: "No one asked you, Bran. Moving along, I'm mass-produced, commercially processed, and practically void of any nutritional value unless you count sugar as a nutrient. I'm put through steam rollers and pampered with a chlorine bath (to perfect my starchy whiteness). Bleaching flour is an industry standard.
Germ: "Of course the real reason that no one can eat any commercial bread is because it's bathed in insecticide before it's even processed."
Endosperm: "Shhhhhh...then no one will even want to eat YOU guys."
The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA): "We define chlorine gas as a flour-bleaching and aging process that is a powerful irritant. Alloxan is a biproduct of bleaching. It intentionally causes diabetes in lab rats so researches can study cures. It's highly toxic."
Endosperm: "No one invited you. You're not even a component of wheat."
Dr. Harvey Wiley: "I'm dead now but in 1906 I was a consumer advocate and head of the Bureau of Chemistry which eventually turned into the FDA. I went to the Supreme Court trying to stop the bleaching of food because I was so convinced of it's dangers. A law was passed that wheat couldn't be altered but it wasn't enforced. Later on I resigned out of frustration when big food corporations like Pillsbury and advocates for big farming beat out any effort to keep poison out of our food."
Endosperm: "Dead people can't talk."
Bran: "Neither can food."
Endosperm: "This is why no one likes you, Bran--you like getting things stirred up."
This is a stellar idea, mostly because I thought of it years ago for local businesses, but never thought it could be a thing for a national business.
My understanding is they bring you shoes, you drink wine and eat cookies and try them on, then they give you a percentage of your sales. If you own a salon, you get to give massages while you host. Who doesn't want to do this???
The only catch is, you have to live within an hour of the store so if you don't live in a metropolitan area, you can go over to your friend's house and still have wine and cookies, but you'll have to settle for trying on her shoes.
2. Old people shoes are so ugly, they're cute.
I'll apologize beforehand for calling these shoes elderly but please look at the next picture:
If you haven't seen an old person wearing this shoe, you're a liar. My Grandmother owns a pair and they were designated to the "old lady shoe" area of the shoe department when I worked for Macy's along with Naturalizers, Life Strides, Easy Spirits, Hush Puppies, and Grasshoppers.
That said, I kind of like them now. One, because I managed in the ladies shoe department at Macy's for six years in non-elderly shoes and two, I'm at that age where it feels ridiculous to wear junior shoes. It's very interesting how at age 30 or so you start to transition from the person who wore short skirts and pierced body parts to the woman who walks into the break room at work, observes an inappropriately dressed young lady, and says to herself,"I wonder if she realizes she looks like a hooker?" with absolutely no malice or jealousy--just concern that the young lady on her cell phone with the tattoo on her thigh realizes what she's done to completely disregard any success she may have in the future with her dyed green hair and ill-fitting clothing.
All of that sounds judgmental and it totally is but in a nice-but-sounds-mean-and-condescending way.
To summarize, my feet hurt and I'm old.
That said, Aerosoles can be so cute that they're ugly--the same kind of ugly that brought me joy in my teens as I found my mom's 1970's sandals fit and that guided me to bell bottoms made out of carpet in college.
Here are a few samples of my favorite ugly/cute Aerosole shoes. I like how the last example looks like someone was like,"Oh my god look at that fabulous fabric on a sofa from Goodwill! I must put it on my feet and add laces!"
I would wear every single pair of these as some acceptably unaware young person will think to herself,"Look at those ugly shoes on that slightly overweight, middle-aged person." And then I'll kick her in the face with my ugly shoe and run.
3. Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Here are some really attractive women my age explaining how Aerosoles are basically the NASA of footwear with their fancy stitch-and-turn with diamond sole design. If I were in a nursery rhyme and I lived in a shoe with a bunch of children, I would want it to be an Aerosole.
4. If you lay around in bed long enough, you can figure out their coupon codes.
I have a compulsion to figure out how to know things I shouldn't know. One of them involves coupon codes for any number of businesses. The last pair of shoes I bought just had to come down in price. There were no adequate coupons available so I noticed they have a VIP program that provided a 15% discount on your birthday. Having worked retail most of my life, I assumed a coupon code would be involved and I knew that the powers that be wouldn't spend a lot of time on making them creative. So after half an hour, I cracked the code. You would've thought I won the lottery.
5. They have a VIP program.
As you may have noticed from reading number 4, Aerosoles has a rewards program. Every $150 you spend will earn you a $10 gift certificate. They also give you 15% off on your birthday or every month if you're a con artist like me.
Although I would never pay full price for anything, I watch the styles I want and buy them six months later when they are usually available. The best way to shop is to get a few friends on board and buy in bulk so you get free shipping and accrue the rewards points. Just explain to your friends that anything under $30 is not refundable for anything but a credit. I haven't found a better price for Aerosoles than on their website if you're looking for clearance. You can get shoes for as little as $16.99--that's better than their vendors including Macys, Sears, and JC Penney. But always check the department store web sites first! You can usually find their full price or moderately priced items for less.
1. They were discovered when I started High School.
This one time back in 1993, a rich guy was wandering around his enormous South African back yard and he saw a tall bush with some fruit on it. Considering it was impossible for anything bad to happen to him since he was rich and white, he bit into one of the ripe red fruits and--VOILA!--peppadew was born. The name originated from the fact they look like a pepper (mostly because they totally are) and the gentleman's affinity for Mountain Dew, which he discovered while traveling the exotic mountains of West Virginia. I made that up, in case you have no humor or common sense.
2. Peppadews are patent.
Afore mentioned white guy, Johah Steenkamp, trademarked his discovery shortly thereafter and patented his "secret preparation." That means you can secretly sell your stash along with your other crops.
But I wouldn't travel there to buy them because people from New Jersey are also raised there.
4. You might find peppadew products in a grocery store near you.
Yancey's Fancy Artisan Cheese partnered with the producers of the peppadew brand to make several varieties of cheese. You can find their selections at your local Kroger. Spring Silver makes peppadew mustard, and Robert Rothschild makes peppadew cocktail sauce which you can usually find at your local specialty foods store. Wegmans's sells the direct brand of peppadews and salsa.
5. Peppadew shows at the Annual International Las Vegas Pizza Expo.
I can't think of a better way to eat pizza,drink beer and hang out with managers from pizza fast food chains all over the United States. I could make some very derogatory remarks about the guy who ran the pizza place I used to work at but then I'd have to admit I worked there.
