What's the Issue?

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

I have unfortunately noted a trend in womanhood--acidic to the soul, crippling the ability to incorporate sound choices, a silencer. 

Why is it such an issue for women, wives, and mothers so neglectful to approach the subject of their own needs?

Shame can arrive at any moment: we may see our own faults in the actions of our children or become fearful at any given moment that our own flaws or past mistakes or regrets may surface, manifesting in order to wound us again, to harm and shame the ones we love so much.

If you are struggling with approaching God--maybe for the 10th time in one day--to receive mercy and grace, consider who confidently interacted with God in the Bible:

1. Hagar

Hagar was chosen by Abraham's wife to bear children for him when God's promise was not manifested quickly enough to provide the promised son. She was Abraham's concubine, an Egyptian servant of his wife Sarah. Hagar began to despise Sarah when she bore a son. Abused and rejected, Hagar fled.

Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count...She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” 

This is the first time the Angel of the Lord,believed to be Christ,appeared to a person in the Bible--a  servant woman chosen by man to fulfill God's promise, abused, rejected, and sent away in shame. Yet she responded to God in confidence, naming Him "the One who sees me."

2. The Canaanite Woman

 Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon.  A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”

 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”

 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”

The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.

He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”

“Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”

Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment

This example has generally caused a fair amount of controversy among those who feel it was rather indignant of a loving Christ to send away someone asking for help. After all, he offered to heal the Centurion's son and he was a Roman man--a Gentile. I would encourage you to study the Scriptures to learn more about Israel's relationship with Canaan but for now, we'll remained focused on what was obvious.

This woman called on Jesus by name. She knew who He was and what He could do. She knew she was being a nuisance and she didn't care. She loved her daughter and she was desperate. She took an insult and turned it into opportunity by refusing to become scorned. And she was rewarded by immediate gratification.

3. The Woman with the Issue of Blood

A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

Here is a woman who had a chronic illness that would have also made her "unclean"--another excellent topic to research as it would have made life even more difficult in addition to suffering and seeing physicians. Another desperate woman, it would be safe to assume she was alone, she was definitely broke, and most certainly broken. Great risk was involved in touching Jesus for a variety of reasons and here she was trembling with fear yet courageous enough to be honest with God. 

Our confidence does not have to come from who we believe we are, where we were raised, what we know, or how we perform. Our confidence to approach God's throne for mercy and grace comes first and foremost with the knowledge of who He is and what He is doing. 

You Say Tomato, I Say Gazpacho

So, I left out that I added garlic. But here is my smoothie/gazpacho recipe. The thing about blending is that you can mess up a sauce and call it dressing or in this case, make a rough smoothie and call it soup. The blender is a universe in which the possibilities are vast and endless. If this were a Sci-fi Veggie Tales you'd see a cucumber Spock and a tomato Captain getting beamed up and whisked away to the planets of Dip and Dressing.

Green Gazpacho/Fiber Smoothie:

1 stalk celery

5 green olives

1/2 a tomato

1/4 cup parsley

1/2 large cucumber with skin

1/2 cup chopped pineapple with juice

small garlic clove, smashed

a shake of cinnamon

a dash of hot sauce

I've linked all of the ingredients to health sites so you know what kind of nutrition you're getting. Cinnamon is a big part of my life--I use it every day. It dates back to Bible times and you can find it in the Mediterranean diet that has proven to prolong life and vitality.

If I really were going to make green gazpacho, I would add avocado, salt, olive oil, and artichoke hearts in brine with a pinch of Ancho chili powder.

Gluten-Free Crispy Chicken

Chicken provides an excellent platform for gluten-free recipes. Rice or corn substitutes are commonly used to flavor, coat, and replace anything from bread crumbs to pie crust.

This recipe is no exception as it incorporates a crunchy, affordable, and delicious replacement for your average flour coating.

ingredients

• 4 cup(s) cornflakes, crushed
• 1/2 cup(s) buttermilk
• 4 (6 ounces each) boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1/2 teaspoon(s) cayenne pepper
• Kosher salt
• Pepper
• 1/2 cup(s) sour cream
• 1 tablespoon(s) white wine vinegar
• 1/2 cup(s) (about 2 ounces) blue cheese, crumbled, plus more for serving
• 2 tablespoon(s) chopped fresh chives
• 1 head(s) iceberg lettuce, cut into 4 wedges
• 1 cup(s) cherry or grape tomatoes, sliced

directions

1. Heat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a rimmed baking sheet with nonstick foil. Place the cornflakes in a shallow bowl.
2. Using 1/4 cup of the buttermilk, brush the chicken breasts on all sides, then season with the cayenne, 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Coat the chicken in the cornflakes, pressing gently to help them adhere, and place on the prepared baking sheet. Bake until cooked through, 15 to 20 minutes.
3. Meanwhile, make the dressing: In a medium bowl, whisk together the sour cream, vinegar, and remaining 1/4 cup buttermilk. Stir in the blue cheese and 1 tablespoon chives.
4. Divide the lettuce and tomatoes among plates. Spoon the dressing over the top. Sprinkle with the remaining tablespoon chives and additional blue cheese, if desired. Serve with the chicken.

what I did differently

In addition to the cayenne pepper, I added smoked paprika. Lettuce wedges are a novel idea, but not big on nutrition, so instead of a lettuce wedge I prepared a spinach salad. 

A swap option I almost always use it plain Greek yogurt to replace sour cream. 

Hair: It's Not Just a Musical

I started losing my hair because of a condition called Telogen Effluvium four years ago when my brother passed away. A close friend noticed first. I brushed it off (pun intended) as temporary but after years of continuous loss--literal in a variety of forms--my hair kept gradually falling out. Sometimes just a bit, other times in clumps. Trauma is a main cause of this condition but the triggers vary:

• major physical trauma
• major psychological trauma
• iron deficiency
• hormonal changes
• extreme weight loss

I was officially diagnosed by a dermatologist in Charlottesville, Virginia who didn't think I had any issues until she really started to look through my scalp (of course, being a Web MD addict, I had already diagnosed myself). 

When I was younger, I was always known for my hair. I rarely cut it, mainly due to laziness, and it was long and thick and simply different than everyone else. 

Although this particular issue wasn't age related for me, many aging women start to lose their hair. This is what I have done to combat the problem:

1. I started cutting my hair shorter. 

When the hair thins, the longer it is, the more stringy and sparse it appears, so I started keeping my hair like most people should keep their stated opinion: short and simple. Not only do I enjoy a short hairstyle because of low maintenance and less product, but I also started to cut it myself. The first time, I trimmed it a bit and layered it and it turned out very well so the second time I cut it, I really went for it. What was the worst that could happen? Now my haircut is free and my hair looks fuller.

2. Explore different hair products. 

Because of my involvement with Swagbucks, I was able to try Wen products through a sixty day free trial. Wen has a money back guarantee--even if the bottles are empty.You will see more than a few bad reviews about Wen however, my impression of the negative reviews pertaining to erroneous charges is that people just don't know how to manage the program. You can order it online without even speaking to a representative and choose how often they replenish your order. It's not difficult at all if you're paying attention. 

Everyone has different reactions to hair products. At first, I thought it made my hair too greasy but then I realized that I wasn't rinsing properly. It's not like regular shampoo, it's closer to massaging your scalp with conditioner. 

I believe it does clean your hair better because I could go two days without washing my hair and it still looked acceptable. I felt good about the level of moisture since I tend to have an oily scalp but dry ends--even when it's first cut. It also smells good and the lavender and mint aroma was spot-on and I felt that the tingle stimulated my hair follicles. I used to add peppermint to my shampoo since this is another recommendation for women with hair loss. 

To stretch the product even further, I used Biotera dry hair shampoo between washes. It adds lift, which is what you need--extra volume. Look into products that promise volume, lift, and fullness and do your research. 

There are other products on the market like Rogaine for women and Joan River's Great Hair Day (which I can't help find amusing) but know the potentially adverse affects for both your head and your wallet. 

3. Create a New Personality

Personally, I've always worn hats. My mother has always been jealous about that aspect of my life. She felt that her nose was too big to wear a hat and some women who are not used to wearing something on their head could feel the same. If you don't like drawing attention to yourself, any new "look" can feel intimidating. But the aging process is also about reinventing yourself so if you're having an issue with thinning hair, why not take a new risk and discover a new you?

Honestly, I have to wear hats now because so much of my scalp is exposed to sunlight that I burn very easily and the last thing you want is a red, splotchy scalp to add to your issues. I have a collection of hats and because I feel most comfortable being casual, I wear my cowboy hat or baseball cap the most,

Here I am in Richmond with my short haircut and cowboy hat. I'm feeling confident and I'm not worried about a thing except going to see the recent exhibit at VMFA that celebrates beauty. 

Salmon and Ginger Beer

Ginger: it's not just a redhead. 

I've known for a long time that it helps reduce nausea (hence, ginger ale when you're sick) but ginger has a number of other health benefits as well:

1. Ginger reduces gas.

2. Ginger whets the appetite.

3. Ginger is anti-inflammatory. 

Apparently, ginger and fish are BFF's since Woman's Day has published more than several recipes that include salmon and ginger and if you're a sushi fan like me, you're aware that raw fish is served with thin slices of ginger to cleanse your palette between servings and aids in the digestion of raw fish.

If you can get through this clip without being thoroughly annoyed by the narrator's voice, then be my guest. 

Broiled Salmon with Gingery Cucumber Salad

This is a fairly easy recipe that doesn't take a lot of time. 

If you want to get fancy, you can try ginger beer with the meal. I have never tried it but I heard a rumor you can buy Jamaican ginger beer at Kroger. Ginger beer is non-alcoholic. 

Beef Rainbows and Corn

Woman's Day Magazine is terrific for recipes but let me tell you--they are almost always telling you to go get some sort of beef cut that no one ever has. I've even gone to my local butcher and they don't have what I need (this is usually when I'm asking for flank steak). Super markets have plenty of rib-eye and T-bones but ask for a flank steak or skirt steak and you know what you'll get from the Kroger staff? Crickets. They don't have a clue either. So listen, I'm going to help you out here. This is what a skirt steak looks like and this is what Wikipedia says about it:

Skirt steak--a beefsteak cut from a diaphragm muscle. 

Was that helpful? Not really? Yeah, me neither. So for this recipe I simply bought thin steaks and told myself I tried because I totally did.

So I opened my meat and pondered this nugget of question: why does some meat have that iridescent sheen?

Beef rainbows--that's what The Atlantic called them. I could go on a tangent about how this sounds like an assortment of things from a 1960's album to something PETA created but I won't. I'll just get to the answer:

"Speaking of ham, beef is not the only meat known to have rainbows. However, when cooked beef is sharply sliced against the grain of the muscle fiber, this, coupled with the moisture in the beef, creates an excellent surface for producing rainbows."

So there you go. Not spoiled.

Also, I'm not sure what makes some jalapeno peppers more powerful than others, but my fingers burned for hours after preparing this recipe so you might want to invest in disposable gloves and use them when peppers are involved. 

The "Tips and Techniques" section of the recipe suggested one could make tacos and that's exactly what I did. 

While you're driving around town, stop at your local produce vendors and pick up the basics. That's what I did too. It just makes the meal taste better--it just does. 

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." --Psalms 51:10

Susan Spencer, Editor-in-Chief of Woman's Day Magazine, shared her response to shoulder pain this month in the August edition and I'll confess that I can relate. I have diagnosed myself with breast cancer, a gall stones, and multiple sclerosis within the last few years, all by visiting Web MD to staunchly accept my fate: every new ache or general malady and I'm convinced I'm terminal. 

Illness touches all and a lot of my concern stems from believing the worst can happen at any time--from knowing for certain that it can without reason. I just turned 35 a little over a week ago and I have considered that in five years I'll be forty and two women I know personally who are my age have already had double mastectomies. I am sorry for them and often I am sorry for myself, yet I realize that after years of abusing my body with the wrong foods and addictions, I deserve whatever illness I have welcomed upon myself, door flung wide open--off the hinges at times.

This month's Reader's Circle (so glad to have that back!) mentions Angela's Ashes as the featured "Bergen Book Buddies" favorite read. One of my favorite quotes from the book is "I am for who I was in the beginning, but now is present and I exist in the future." We exist, we existed, we will exist. We exist and how will we exit? 

The body, heart, mind, and soul--they are all connected. The abuse of one will demand the others to work overtime. We feed and nurture them all or we choose to neglect them all at once or one at a time. Deprive yourself of sleep, refuse to say no, confuse your priorities. Cleansing, purging, seeking, and the ultimate cycle of change can exist in the midst of whatever unfortunate events life offers. 

Ask yourself these questions over the month of August: 

1. Why is forgiveness important and who should I forgive?

2. What habit or behavior is in my life that makes me ashamed?

3. What one change do I want in my heart, body, and mind?

Sometimes the answers to these questions aren't deep. I believe forgiveness can happen without a renewed relationship, that shameful thoughts or motives, when confided to a trusted friend or clergy, can begin a process of restoration, and that sometimes change comes through painful experiences we didn't choose but also through choosing the pain of what may be uncomfortable or unfamiliar, but absolutely the right thing in the long run.

In the mean time, I am no longer in my twenties. I am thinking about what I eat, beauty rituals (I hate even taking a shower!) and changing bad habits. 

It may not be in the Bible verbatim, but I am certain that cleanliness is next to godliness--and that obviously goes for every aspect of how we choose to exist.