"Just get OVER it!"
If you're on the receiving end of this phrase, regardless of what "it" may be, you're probably aware of how damaging those words can be.
More often than not, we do not have the capacity to "just get over it." Because it is painful. It is angering. It is wrong. And it won't go away.
The It is a wound. People, events in our past, and even our own beliefs that stem from It then start to contribute to the It as if it were a pet. It is fed. It grows. It takes up more space. It metastasizes and even becomes part of our identity so that the idea of parting with It is even more frightening than living with It the rest of our lives.
We all have our version of It. It robs us of our self esteem. It causes problems in our marriage. It makes us angry and resentful at family, friends, and God. It has taken control of our thoughts, beliefs, and actions and has left part of us in a cage.
As we begin to construct our own timeline of our lives, we'll begin to make discoveries. Our goal is to not only document and consider the facts about what have happened to us, what we've done, or what we haven't done, but to thoroughly attain a deep understanding of the underlying emotions, consequences, and wounds that are still affecting our ability to obtain freedom.
What lies have we learned and embraced as we've navigated life within our own unique circumstances and experiences?
It is inevitable that whether we are a group of 5 or 25, we have shared several life experiences that have caused wounds: grief, suffering, anger. We all have an inner dialogue. It may sound something like this:
"Why do bad things always happen to me?"
"People like me don't deserve to be happy."
"If (a person or people) would just do this (whatever "this" may be), I could have a normal life."
"It's my fault that (parents, children, spouse, etc) are suffering. They would be better off without me."
"No one ever listens to me."
"It's too difficult to try to change now."
"If I forgive (parent, spouse, abuser, etc) they will get away with what they've done and my pain will continue without vindication."
"People never love me as much as I love them."
"If I wouldn't have made that mistake, my life would be different. My suffering is my fault. I have gotten what I deserved."
"You can't trust anyone because people will just hurt you."
"If I don't take care of it, no one else will."
If you can relate to one or more of those inner dialogues, then this study and support group will share tools collectively that may be a conduit to healing from the brokenness and wounds of your past and present.
As you begin to construct your own timeline you may:
Share or keep private any of the information that goes onto it.
Focus on timeline events at your own pace.
Feel free of guilt or pressure if there are some events or circumstances you are not yet able to face.
Commit to participation on your own terms.
We ideally would like to meet as a group, but if you are unable to do so we still want you to be able to get the help and support you need. We will offer online forums and you may set aside times of discussion within the group.
Our ultimate goal will be to discuss and consider several issues or questions:
Is "hate the sin, love the sinner" a Biblical principle?
Who are the people I hate/am angry with/fear/hurt me the most?
What are the Biblical truths about the emotions I experience and how do they relate to my life in a tangible way?
My next post will be about how to construct the timeline of your life, what it may look like, and how it may be used to help you answer tough questions and begin a journey to freedom from the lies that play over and over in our inner dialogue.