Bark! The Angel Harold Sings

There are only a few food items that cause me to show my palm and politely utter a pleasant,"No thanks." One is peppermint mixed with chocolate.

You may actually get a lip curl if you offer me mint chocolate chip ice cream. I don't get it. It's like licking cold gum. Gross.

Now I'll go on to explain that I will on occasion have peppermint lattes and peppermint milkshakes. It makes no logical sense.

So anyway, I made this peppermint bark and, as I always try to share my creations with others, took the greater portion (after sharing a few pieces with coworkers) out to my best friend's farm. She subsequently ate the entire batch in one rocking-chair sitting.

Which was fine with me, because I don't like chocolate and peppermint. But I did wipe the peppermint off of a few pieces and THAT was good.

In High School, we created our own Christmas album entitled "Jingle Junx." I was far more mischievous than she when it came to goofing off and causing disruptions. I was voted class clown and my principle advised me that I would not graduate if I didn't do better in my Statistics class (which was a total lie--I finished that semester with a 50). I never finished my Greek homework so my teacher would make me leave when the class went over the translation. One day I wandered the halls and, since the secretary was out, I wrote in National Sarah Day and National Danielle Day on two of the calendar days the following month.

They actually celebrated these fabricated days with banners and gifts.

Here lies evidence that you can make a huge impact if you refuse to do what you don't want to do and instead wander aimlessly through life. So far this theory has earned me an expensive vacation and several job offers of anything from modeling careers to working in politics and journalism.

Anyhow, we created a pretend album in our heads called "Jingle Junx" and I still remember the lyrics to some of the songs although she recalls none of this. The most notable may be "Frosty the Gangsta" and "Shopper's Paradise" based off of the ever so popular tune of the mid-nineties "Gangsta's Paradise."

I remember one particularly jovial piece called "Hark! The Angel Harold Sings." It goes a little something like this:

"Hark!" The angel Harold sings,
"Where the hell did I put my wings?!
Where's my music? Where's my harp?
Gabriel likes me to be sharp.

If I'm not there by half past seven,
I'll get kicked right out of heaven,
Booted passed the pearly gates,
Where the last director earned his fate.

Hark! The angel Harold sings,
Where the hell did I put my wings?"

We went to a private school and then I went on to Bible College. I was kicked out after one semester. You've already noticed a pattern of course. Apparently in Bible College you can't skip Greek class and you definitely can't date bar tenders.

There's a point here. Danielle and I are out of High School and I'm still wandering off the beaten bath and giving her stuff I don't want. That's real friendship that has stood the test of time. We're looking at 20 years in 2014. It's about time my schenanegans earned us another free vacation.

ingredients


16 ounce(s) bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
4 ounce(s) white chocolate, coarsely chopped (i used Ghiradelli)
4 (6 inches each) candy canes, chopped

directions

Line a 15 1/2- by 10 1/2-inch jelly roll pan with nonstick foil or parchment paper, leaving a 2-inch overhang on 2 sides. In a microwave-safe bowl, melt the bittersweet chocolate on high, stirring every 20 seconds, until smooth (about 90 seconds total). Spread it into the prepared pan.

In a microwave-safe bowl, melt the white chocolate on high, stirring every 20 seconds, until smooth (about 60 seconds total). Drop small spoonfuls onto the bittersweet chocolate and, using a skewer, swirl the white chocolate through the dark.

Let the chocolate set for 5 minutes. Sprinkle with the candy canes, then refrigerate until set, about 30 minutes. Break into pieces before serving

Here's a tip: take the cane and put it in foil. Then get your rolling pin out and beat it to death or if you prefer not to demonstrate too much aggression, just roll over it a few times.

This is the easiest holiday treat I have made by far. It peels right off of the foil and it's easy to break up. It also sparkles.

It cost about $13.50 to make. I believe you could experiment with the chocolate bars--my favorite being Vosages. They run about $7.50 a bar though so unless you have money to burn I'd say negotiate with Hershey's or Lindt.