Friday, March 1, 2013


"When you lie down, you will not be afraid; your sleep will be sweet." --Proverbs 3:24

With the exception of rare bouts of insomnia that coinside with my depressive disorder, I have never had trouble sleeping; waking up in the morning--now that's a different story. I know people who can't sleep well due to medical issues, new babies, the demands of a career or other life circumstances. I am blessed to enjoy peaceful sleep and often amaaaaazing (it's an inside joke) dreams that include intricate space ships, colorful places and people who introduce themselves in the living room of my inner eye lids, and supernatural insights into...I can't remember in the morning.

What I cannot tolerate on a week to week basis is the horror of leaving the apartment.

My doctor believes that I've developed a mild form of agorophobia that is often related to the fear-like feelings associated with grief and post traumatic stress disorder. In one of those not-so-coindicental incidents in 2011, I read Paul Deen's autobiography, which was sitting around my Grandmother's house. I truly enjoyed how each chapter culminated in a chapter-related recipe--obviously I enjoying culinary delights. What I also deeply appreciated was her candor concerning her early experience with grief with the double loss of both parents and the following battle with agorophobia.

Next month is National Counseling month. I am working through a number of issues involving my anxiety, fear, and other physical issues caused my grief. My encouragement to everyone this month is to care for your own body and mental health and refuse the notion that these types of issues are something you can just "get over" with enough prayer or moral fortitude. Mental and emotional health are closely related to the body and spirit. We are holistic beings. Seek help, accept support. Accept yourself.

In the mean time, if you have trouble sleeping, I've heard magnesium really helps a lot.

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